Frivolous suffering

It really irritates me when people think that they can begin to understand what I’m going through. I don’t care if you’ve lost your spouse, never been to Paris, or given up three times when training for a marathon. That doesn’t make your life suck. I don’t care how much you love to put your thoughts into poetry, knit cute little kitten tapestries onto cushions, or write fancy handwriting on the covers of birthday cards. That doesn’t make you “lonely”, “emotional”, or “needing people to talk to”.

What makes life suck, and what makes people really need someone to talk to, and what makes them really need a creative outlet for their thoughts, is when, in addition to social isolation, stress at college, and a failing relationship with your family, every second of your life is taken up with wishing that you were blind.

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6 thoughts on “Frivolous suffering

  1. Wow, you really weren’t kidding when you described your blog as being controversial. However, at least you’re honest and don’t hold back. That said, I do think that everyone’s suffering is personal to them and I think that whether or not a person is suffering more than another is often difficult to quantify. I was not aware that there was actually a desire to make oneself blind so that is, though quite unfortunate, very interesting. Keep blogging. Ned.

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    • Whilst I appreciate your point of view and you do in fact have some very true points, my point is that I am suffering from a lot of what other people claim is “taking over their life” in addition to my very all-consuming BIID – yet I have to just keep going on and on. I can hardly say that one “suffering” from being unable to complete their bucket list can really compare to this. And this whole “I’m so emotionally unwell I just have to sit blogging surreal poetry all day” thing that I’ve seen developing is really just stupid. They can get counseling and therapy. Yet here I am and there’s no treatment for my issues and I just have to carry on.

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      • Thanks for responding. Yeah I get that you are obviously having to cope with a great deal mate but would you not concede that some peoples’ way of ‘coping’ is within the solace of poetry or by distracting themselves with a bucket list? I know people who cannot get counselling because their Doctors will not refer them due to budget constraints, I also know people who are doing bucket lists because they wish to complete a list of tasks before their terminal cancer takes hold and removes those options. I personally applaud people from either trying to create something or who get up and move on. Some people cope by blogging, some by shouting and screaming, some through dance, song and some simply curly up and protect themselves as best they can in their rooms. To each his or her own :)

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        • Yeah obviously terminal cancer’s a bit different, bit I’m talking about people where the bucket list is the *cause* of the “stress”, not a coping mechanism. And I agree that poetry, for example, is a perfectly valid coping mechanism (and I have tried it myself, for that matter) but people sometimes “like” my posts and I check their blogs and it’s one of these blogs full of the most unintelligable “poems” because their job only pays enough for one holiday a year when their Facebook friends all have two, and they think they can compare that to trying to cope with BIID.

          Perhaps I’m being a little harsh, but when you have to just struggle on despite having a condition that puts your stress at 110% 24 hours a day and with no treatment available then it kind of makes sense that I’m a little disgusted at people who claim that they “can’t cope” with smaller issues. Fine, maybe those things are causing them stress, but I just don’t have the option of “not coping”. I have responsibilities to fulfill, and I have to just keep fulfilling them despite my condition.

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          • I do agree with you, there are many that have little or nothing to worry about and those are the ones that often make the most noise. As for those who are truly struggling they have my support and sympathy. I do hope that you’re able to learn coping strategies or that something is discovered that might help you with your struggle and I am sure that anything that offers little or no respite is very difficult to live with. As for the writing though, keep it up.

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          • Well I guess “pretending” is a coping strategy of sorts – you can read more about it on my blog. But it’s not always an option, so at other times things get very difficult. It’s nice that you’re understanding though, as some people can be very unkind to me.

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